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[translated] I would gladly take care of my family members if there were not serious issues that put a big barrier between me and them. It’s easy to place the responsibility on the shoulders of family members when one needs support, but no one considers that the one who is supposed to be the caregiver may be rejected from this role. It is a particular situation, but unfortunately not unique.

For the past ten years, I have been providing care to my mother with dementia and complex care needs whilst at the same time raising two children alone following the break-up of my marriage due to domestic abuse, and trying to combine this with work. I am exhausted and feel completely burnt out. Caring has negatively impacted on my work and career and affected my family life. My mother has recently moved to a small scale nursing home where she is so happy and so well looked after. There is huge pressure on families to continue to look after people with highly complex care needs and I question that. There are too few small scale nursing homes in Ireland.

[Translated] I have long cared for my sister and my mother, and now my husband who has cancer and is bedridden! I wish someone [could support me] for a few hours or once a few days so that I could go away once with my daughter and granddaughter or make a trip!

[Translated] None of the services I have used have the means to help dependent people with multiple sclerosis. It’s a horror. I have to do everything on my own because the home carers for example can’t come if I’m in hospital or on rehabilitation…the domestic helpers are no longer available, I am not entitled to a transport service … I never qualify. I am revolted. I live alone without family and it’s really hard. I’ve been able to get help at times but it doesn’t last because the budgets are so small. Even people with severe physical disabilities don’t have adequate help. The Aviq [Agence pour une Vie de Qualité] has not been functioning for years… the situation is very serious. And it has become even worse with Covid.

[Translated] Children and partners should never be forced to take care of their relatives. Everyone wants to be able to live their life the way they want. It’s great that a survey like this is being done. Thank you!

[Translated] I was my husband’s caregiver for 7 years. He passed away from a rare and orphaned neurodegenerative disease (PSP). When the diagnosis was announced, we felt abandoned. Then it was very difficult to find quality help even if we paid. I retired 2 years before the legal age to continue to help him. Our last and most terrible test was to have his advance directives respected. He could no longer swallow, so he could not eat or drink. He refused the gastrostomy and wanted deep sedation. I had to fight again and again to have his wishes respected. So abandoned from beginning to end!

[Translated] I am curious about the results… It is important to increase the prestige and financial value of care at home! Explore even more possibilities for care in old age… (shared housing, generation parks and others)

My mother could afford to pay for care but we couldn’t get consistent reliable care due to the pandemic. We chose a residence but even they are limited to what they can provide and in Canada if a higher level of care is required then the person needs to go to LTC which wasn’t available at the time and she ended up staying in hospital until she passed. The government offers home supports with a cookie cutter approach; not tailored to what would make staying in her home possible. PSWs [personal support workers] to help shower and dress but no service to wash dishes. She could shower, [but] she needed help with dinner and dishes or laundry. The maximum hours [funded by the] Government is 4 hours/week not enough to sustainably stay home.

[Translated] In Belgium, we are immensely lucky that our health care system is based on solidarity. It is important that this continues and is even strengthened to avoid inequalities.

[Translated] I would urgently need support as far as my parents are concerned. They live alone, my father doesn’t speak at all anymore, can’t be reached by phone either, and my mother now and then. I think they both need urgent support, but I can’t talk to them anymore. My mother had a serious brain operation, I was never informed by any doctor, by any nurse, by any social worker…….what can be done, what is available, nothing at all….