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[translated] It is not easy to gain the trust of a stranger and let them take care of you. Trust and safety are also very important factors in receiving /providing long-term care.

“It’s very difficult to take care of elderly. It causes a lot of stress with effects on health. Wished for some more support structures. Needs have to be assessed often as they can change frequently.”

[…] When Covid came along it destroyed very important connections that enable older people in nursing homes to keep going & stay connected, to keep hope alive – the deterioration in my Mother in just 18 months was, & still is, devastating & resulted in her recent death. All those months we were unable to be by her side & keep her going, instead she wasted away as she was unable to comprehend what was going on with Covid, yet she was aware enough to know we were no longer with her. Looking through a window trying to communicate love & care to someone with dementia & who is very confused about why you wouldn’t come inside was one of the cruelest experiences. It was terrible to witness just how much our older people are let down by lack of creative, adequate, & in my opinion humane, care options because even in times of desperation when I considered taking my Mother out of the nursing home to live with me the pain of knowing that was not possible was very heavy as I knew the reality of what it had been like 4 years previously trying to care for her – lack of adequate home help, lack of adequate services – & now along now with significantly increased care needs it would have been a recipe for crisis. I became very unwell physically when I’d been involved in her care prior to her going to live in the nursing home.”

[Translated] I was my husband’s caregiver for 7 years. He passed away from a rare and orphaned neurodegenerative disease (PSP). When the diagnosis was announced, we felt abandoned. Then it was very difficult to find quality help even if we paid. I retired 2 years before the legal age to continue to help him. Our last and most terrible test was to have his advance directives respected. He could no longer swallow, so he could not eat or drink. He refused the gastrostomy and wanted deep sedation. I had to fight again and again to have his wishes respected. So abandoned from beginning to end!

[translated] This issue [of long-term care] needs to be discussed and prioritised by the state, because the population is ageing, children are going abroad and local structures for [supporting older people] need to be improved and a concrete annual budget established. We will all reach an age when we need help.

My mother could afford to pay for care but we couldn’t get consistent reliable care due to the pandemic. We chose a residence but even they are limited to what they can provide and in Canada if a higher level of care is required then the person needs to go to LTC which wasn’t available at the time and she ended up staying in hospital until she passed. The government offers home supports with a cookie cutter approach; not tailored to what would make staying in her home possible. PSWs [personal support workers] to help shower and dress but no service to wash dishes. She could shower, [but] she needed help with dinner and dishes or laundry. The maximum hours [funded by the] Government is 4 hours/week not enough to sustainably stay home.

[Translated] I lost my father last year (cancer). We kept him at home, with my brothers and sister, almost until the end; we are now looking after our mother. She has been in a nursing home for several months. We take turns every day to get her up, wash her, dress her, feed her and take her out. The staff at the care home is always on leave, there is a high turnover of staff. Not only does my mother pay, we each pay a small part of the accommodation, but we are the ones who take care of her from morning to night. That’s why we are part-time.

[translated] My biggest fear is that I will be powerless to support and provide for myself. That would place my family in a difficult financial and physical situation, given that my future salary and pension will not be enough to cover all expenses.

[Translated – excerpt] Long-term care is an obligation of society. The administration has to participate and set criteria for equality, but it has to get involved in management, if it wants to do so under the same conditions as everyone else. Give a choice to the citizen who chooses what he/she wants, not what the administration thinks (free choice). Care should be directed by the people, not only centred on them. Empowerment of the citizen. Promote professional training and above all competences and skills. Increase staff ratios and salaries, and above all work/family/leisure balance. There is a lot of work to be done.

The government should invest in training social workers, so that quality of care is as high as possible, and at the same time the social status of social workers, professional carers and nursing staff is raised, they are better paid, and young persons would like to choose such careers.