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Thanks for keeping this in the public eye. No easy answers, I’m not sure I agree with all of mine today, but we must keep trying!!

[Translated] It is complicated to get help when the parent who needs it is living abroad (France) and it is impossible for him/her to live alone. Because no retirement home can be found for him/her, the only solution is to take him/her at home (in another country of the European Union)

[Translated] I lost my father last year (cancer). We kept him at home, with my brothers and sister, almost until the end; we are now looking after our mother. She has been in a nursing home for several months. We take turns every day to get her up, wash her, dress her, feed her and take her out. The staff at the care home is always on leave, there is a high turnover of staff. Not only does my mother pay, we each pay a small part of the accommodation, but we are the ones who take care of her from morning to night. That’s why we are part-time.

“Given the current state of care facilities, I would prefer to take care of my parents/loved ones at home and if I should require services I would prefer to be taken care of at home. The way I view care facilities in their present state is that these facilities provide everything needed to keep a person alive but greatly reduce their quality of life (e.g., loss of dignity, reduced access to meaningful activities and social interaction, loss of agency etc.). I believe it is practical, feasible and in governing bodies best interest in the long term to improve quality of care in these facilities. We now have good evidence for activities/programs that can improve wellbeing and physical health in older adults. We should be utilizing this evidence to improve the lives of older adults. If the quality of care provided in these facilities drastically improves, I would view this as the preferred option. But we are not there yet.”

I have Parkinson’s Disease and I dread what the future holds for me physically and mentally.

[Translated] I have placed my mother in a nursing home due to advanced dementia. What is missing there are people who occupy themselves with the old people. […] Due to Corona and very limited visitation opportunities, loneliness is increasing. Thus all voluntary visiting services fall flat. […] As much as one pushes the models to accommodate old and young in shared apartments together, I found that my mother with advancing age – who loves her great-grandchildren very much – is simply more stressed when she is visited, it is too loud, too wild, etc.. So she doesn’t want to attend family gatherings anymore either. For a while she was very enthusiastic about the day care center in [redacted] – there she was offered everything she needed. Someone talked to her, they played and made music together, they prepared the snack together, etc. This combination between home and day care center would be IDEAL in my opinion.

Start to talk openly [about] discrimination of elderly in Sweden which has been going on AT least 20 years by now [emphasis in original].

[translated] I am of the opinion that a pensioner has paid a rather large sum to the State month after month all his life. In old age, when that person would need long term care the state should participate in the necessary costs of the care and not leave the family to do it alone.

For the past ten years, I have been providing care to my mother with dementia and complex care needs whilst at the same time raising two children alone following the break-up of my marriage due to domestic abuse, and trying to combine this with work. I am exhausted and feel completely burnt out. Caring has negatively impacted on my work and career and affected my family life. My mother has recently moved to a small scale nursing home where she is so happy and so well looked after. There is huge pressure on families to continue to look after people with highly complex care needs and I question that. There are too few small scale nursing homes in Ireland.

[translated] I would gladly take care of my family members if there were not serious issues that put a big barrier between me and them. It’s easy to place the responsibility on the shoulders of family members when one needs support, but no one considers that the one who is supposed to be the caregiver may be rejected from this role. It is a particular situation, but unfortunately not unique.